A 22-year-old Iowa blogger is speaking out today and providing his personal reflections as to why he, a volunteer who had worked with rape and sexual assault victims, chose to photograph another woman’s body without her consent.

Kyle Payne, who is awaiting criminal sentencing in connection with the January 2007 incident, says that he wrote today’s post as an example that he has the courage to “own” what he has done and to open himself up to criticism.

While I still wholeheartedly identify with feminism – and in fact, started a personal blog as an attempt to become more in touch with feminist principles – there is no question that my actions have grossly contradicted these principles. Furthermore, by failing to address these contradictions openly, while presenting myself as any sort of ally to women, I have not been completely honest. There was no malicious intent to withholding this explanation – for legal and psychological reasons, I was not prepared to address them. As part of my attempts to make amends, however, I will not post any new material on my blog until such time that I have been welcomed back into a community of feminists.

Kyle Payne

Kyle Payne

According to Payne, he is currently undergoing therapy for “various mental health issues.” He claims to be a victim of childhood sexual abuse and that his work with survivors of sexual violence triggered flashbacks, panic attacks, insomnia, depression and anxiety.

On June 30, Payne signed a plea agreement with the state, agreeing that he was guilty of felony attempted burglary in the second degree and two counts of invasion of privacy. Sentencing was originally set for Aug. 11, but his attorney, citing a need for Payne to continue therapy and time to gather more letters of support, has requested a continuance.

At the time of the incident, Payne was employed by Buena Vista University as a dormitory resident adviser. Police reports indicate that while attending to an intoxicated and unconscious female student, Payne reportedly assaulted and photographed her. The guilty plea he entered with the court did not include assault charges. Tips received by police and campus security following the incident led to a 10-month investigation that resulted in Payne’s arrest in February.